The Famous-or Infamous-Drive-Thru “There’s No Button!” Story

Jen and I would eat occasionally at an un-named national fast-food chain and usually, she would order the extremely processed yet sinfully delicious chicken nuggets. Unfortunately, she liked them with the honey mustard sauce that went with the grilled chicken sandwich, not any other dipping sauce. While we would order specifically, at the static speaker, the order would invariably get messed up.  So, I would have to get out, go inside and ask for sauce. Thus began the saga of “There’s No Button!”

After having to get out of the car at several different visits, I asked the clerk to please make sure that we would receive the honey mustard sauce in the bag, as it was annoying to drive-thru only to have to walk in. I was trying to make the drive-thru teller’s job a bit simpler. When we would order, I would specify the sauce like the one that would come with the grilled chicken sandwich. I was once told that it “only” came with that sandwich and that I couldn’t get it unless I ordered the sandwich. 

Curious how this worked, I asked if they didn’t give out ketchup unless the person ordered fries. After a pause, I got the sauce without further argument. That trip. *Cue winning music from Legend of Zelda*

Many times I would receive separate honey and mustard packets and often we wondered if this meant we were to make our own sauce. Were we to get delicious fast food and then be our own chefs for the sauce? (Are they called sauceiers? Sous Chefs? So many questions…. Could it be the special honey mustard sauce was only served with the grilled chicken sandwich due to a supply issue? Was this sauce truly “special”? Would this sauce give me superpowers? I gave these ideas some thought but considering the power and might of this franchise, any of these ideas seems far-fetched to say the least.) Again, I would have to get out of the car, go inside and seek the sauce. *cue Ride of the Valkyries*

Once, when specifying the sauce we wanted, I was told there was no button for that. 

“What?” I asked.

“There’s no button,” was the reply, as that sauce only came with the sandwich, therefore, there was no separate button. 

I asked the teller to please call out and ask for some honey mustard sauce. She said that she couldn’t do that, as she wasn’t allowed to yell and wasn’t allowed to talk to the people on the food line. 

While not wanting to question this explicit and through training, I went with it. When I paid at the window, again requested the sauce. I was told at the pay window I was not allowed to “change” my order. I told her what the lady who took my order said, thus claimed I was not “changing my order.” The pay clerk sighed like it was ever so difficult to add a few packets of sauce to order and then said she would do it, “this one time”. 

I thanked her, for all the trouble she was going to, which I am sure was excessive (How heavy those packets are! I also had to wonder does she have to do a thorough inventory of each individual packet at end of a shift? Is her paycheck docked for each packet missing? But I digress..) and actually received the correct sauce in the bag. For the second time. *Cue winning music from Mario Brothers*

The next visit to the fine establishment, knowing the trouble we had gone to the last time, the people behind us that had to wait in the stifling Midwest midsummer heat, I decided to expedite the process. Mostly because I wanted my swirly cone. 

So, on ordering the chicken nuggets, I said: “Ok, so I know it’s not the sauce that goes with it, but we really like the honey mustard dipping sauce AND we know there is no button for that, but could you please make sure there is honey mustard in the bag?” 

To this, I got an amazing reply. 

“There is a button!” returned the polite voice from the speaker.

“W-w-what?” I stuttered astonished.

“I said there is a button ma’am.” the speaker stated calmly if a bit louder and clearer.

“What? I was told there isn’t a button?” I was stunned.

“Well, all you have to do is hit the honey button and the mustard button and then they know up there it’s Honey Mustard sauce that you want.” the speaker a la line worker (miracle worker) advised me.

I am sure that line worker is now – at least – a manager. 

I’m lovin’ it. *insert commercial of choice*